Hugh Robertson, the current, and shoo-in to be the next, MP for Faversham and Mid Kent told constituents last night that, if they didn't like the idea of an unelected House of Lords, then they should `go and live in another country'!
And that was about the only tabloid moment from what was a refreshingly amatuerish night, as the `The General Election Campaign, 2010' made a minor appearance in Faversham yesterday as five of the candidates for the constituency appeared in a `Question Time' style debate.
One is used to seeing polished performances by professional politicians - this was anything but that. One could actually believe this was `real life', that the people on stage weren't that different from the rest of us.
The five were:
* Dave Naghi, LibDem
* Sarah Larkins, UKIP
* Ash Rehal, Labour
* Hugh Robertson Conservative
* Tim Valentine Green
Of those only two came over as vaguely competent.
Hugh Robertson spoke with the confidence of a man who knew he was sitting on a whacking 8,720 majority. He seemed a tad embarrassed by the calibre, or lack of it, of his opponents. You could practically see the thought bubble, `look, I do this for a living, you lot are just playing at it'.
Tim Valentine also came over as lucid, succint, presentable and in possession of the facts, capable of putting forward his argument in a reasoned way.
And that was it. Anyone who went to the meeting not wanting to vote green or blue would have come away deeply disappointed. Frankly, it would be hard to imagine any of the others holding high office.
Dave Naghi, the LimDem candidate, I suspect, was designed by committee and built by robots in a factory somewhere in the Milton Keynes area out of the recycled material. He spoke with all the aplomb, passion and eloquence of a man who had just spent the day writing a 42 page Health and Safety procedure on the `Correct and Most Risk Adverse Use of an A-frame Step Ladder'. The sort of chap who drains energy and hope from even the most optimistic of situations.
`Hey Dave, we're all going to the pub after work, want to join us?'
`Yes, I feel that that could be a pleasant and unthreatening experience, I think we should set up a working party to investigate the idea...'
`Dave, we're just going to the pub.'
`Hmmm, whilst I admire your inexperienced enthusiasm, we can't just rush in like that. These things need planning. There's the venue, the date, the seating arrangement...'
`But we just going to the Queens Head on the corner for a quick one'
`No, no, no that won't do, best leave these things to the professionals, I've been planning pub trips all my working life, and I've got three children don't you know! One day soon we may actual finalise things and make it to the bar.'
`But, but, there's no need for any of that, really, it's a spur of the moment thing, it's Graham's birthday.'
`Ah that's where you need a person of my experience, have you even bothered to investigate the pub's fire escape and evacuation procedures? No, I thought not. And did you know that according to recent ..."
`Forget it! I'm going home to watch Eastenders instead. Happy birthday Graham, maybe next year?"
It came as no surprise when Dave told the audience that he'd been working in local government for the past 37.2314 years. Luckily for him by the time he'd got to the end of the sentence where he suggested that `all candidates should be forced to serve an apprenticeship as councillors before being allowed to stand for election to the commons - just like me', no one was listening.
My sympathies go out to Ash Rehal, The Labour candidate, he was like a frightened rabbit caught in the head-lights. He thanked the chair for not making the colour of his skin an issue, thus making the colour of his skin an issue when no one else had given it a second thought.
As for policy, no he didn't agree with ID cards, the loss of freedoms and civil liberties under the current administration, in fact he didn't agree with much of the Labour manifesto. One couldn't help feeling he'd signed up for the wrong party, but pride stopped him from admitting it so he was going to ride on the Labour bus until it until it got to its destination no matter how abhorrent he found the journey.
At least he'd had the decency to read his party's manifesto. I'm not sure the same could be said about Sarah Larkins? Well not at the beginning at least. Asked a question about climate change she resorted to looking up her party's stance in her manifesto, and as she read it out, verbatim, you could see her jaw drop. `No, this can't be true? Ok, which one of you bastards swapped my copy for the joke version?' She was comedy genius, even if she didn't realise it herself. She was inarticulate, made up statistics on the spot, confused Daily Mail opinion with scientific fact, complained about school children who couldn't speak English in words incomprehensible to anyone without specialist linguistic training.
`They want to cancel Christmas!' she stated at one point, gently skipping over who `they' might be.
`That's an urban myth, where did you get you information from?' retorted one member of the audience.
`I don't know, I read it in a somewhere!', So there we have it. The Earth could also at threat from The Clangers.
Sarah, oh Sarah, why? Were you the only person UKIP could find with a twin set and pearls who was free for the next five years?
Yes, the constituency is Hugh's. He knew it and so did the others. Poor old Ash, had Labour high-command sent him to Kent to cut his teeth; to either make him or kill him (the most likely outcome) - but either way, it didn't matter to them?
The biggest cheer of the night went to a young lady in the audience who spoke in reply to the candidates' comments to the obligatory `Is it bigotted to talk about Immigration?' question. (All candidates, except Tim Valentine - to his credit, gave variations of the, de rigueur `I'm not racist but ...' answer.)
`Forgive me if my voice shakes, I am very upset by the way the candidates have spoken about immigrants, I actually work with with them, I hear their stories.'
As she then demolished the lie that has been allowed to fester unchecked: that the immigrants lot is a life of scrounging and luxury, that they are to blame for the nation's ill. Credit to her! And credit to the audience too, their reaction and support showing a humanity that has been sadly lacking from the debate of late.
Yes, the night was amateurish, boring, haphazard, unplanned - and you know what, Faversham is a little bit better because of that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment