Recruiters - Salt of the Earth

Dear Gavin,

Good Morning, I hope you are well?

I am contacting you in regards to a permanent C++ Developer role in Ashford Kent.

Are you looking for work at the moment? If this is of interest to you please send me your updated CV and salary expectations.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards

Lindsay


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Lindsay,

You've neglected to include the salary range.

Regards,

Gavin.

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Hi Gavin,

It depends of experience and what the candidate is looking for.

What would your expectations be?

Lindsay




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Lindsay,

Wrong answer, please exclude me from potential candidates.

Regards,

Gavin.


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Mr Bungay,

Are you looking for work? If not please do not waste my time and just reply that you are not looking.


Kind Regards

Lindsay


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Mr Jones,

I like your style!

I believe my instructions were plain enough, if you cannot/will not state a salary range, then I don't want to be considered. That is hardly unreasonable, it is inequitable for you to imply otherwise!

Are you seriously looking for candidates? If not, please do not waste my (or any one elses time).

When a person asks you a direct question, it is considered proper to answer it rather than reply with another question!

One is heartily fed up of the following scenario:

"I Have a brilliant job just for you!"
"Excellent, what are they paying?"
"It all depends on age and experience ... they'll pay what ever they have to to get the right person ... you're exactly what they're after - if you could just rewrite your CV, paint your nipples gold and stick a daffoldil up your arse ..."

... some time later ...

"Ok, nipples painted, flower inserted, CV rewritten in a way that I'm not happy with, but to your specs..."
"Oh, actually, they don't want to pay anywhere near what you're after, they wanted to pay minimum wages with all the crayons you can eat while on the job"
"SO WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND STOP WASTING MY TIME?" ... retires to bathroon to retrieve daffs


Best regards,

Gavin (Mr Bungay)


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Mr Bungay,

I am actually a Miss not Mr, perhaps you knew that already and being purposefully obnoxious.

The role in Ashford is recruiting for 3 developers at junior, mid and senior with salaries ranging from £26k to £48k

As I work a vertical market I also cover senior roles that pay in excess of £100k-so the purpose of answering your question with a question is to see if anything else is suitable.

I appreciate you get bombarded but I have a job to do and roles to fill so if you are not looking stop wasting your time and more importantly mine.


Kind Regards

Lindsay



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Ms Jones,

I apologise for getting your sex wrong. I know that Lindsay is a uni-sex name, it was presumptuous to assume that you were male, I apologise - no hang on I already did that.

I must say your insinuation that I was being purposefully obnoxious is well, `purposefully obnoxious' - an ad hominem fallacy to be sure.

I appreciate that, like estate agents, there are good recruiters out there, but they are engulfed by a sea of shoddy ones. So I have a few rules when dealing with them to sift the wheat from the chaff (or should that be chavs?):

1. If they can't state a salary, then they're just phishing
2. If they make a general "I have a job you may be interested in" without a detailed job spec, they're just phishing.
3. I'm a vegetarian so don't eat phish!

As for the Ashford job, the wages are too low to tempt me from my current endeavours, but thanks for thinking of me.

If you had simply answered "They have a number of positions paying from £26k-£48k", the first time I asked, we'd have both been on our separate ways, time wasting and fighting unwarranted accusations of sexism minimised!

Anyway, all the best for the rest of the day, we have sunshine here.


Mr Bungay (but you may call me Gavin).